Remind me again why I don't watch pro basketball?
Now first of all, let me say that I loves me some pro football -- I can imagine no better weekend than watching two games on Sunday afternoon, then watching another one that night. (Not that I get do that anymore with two kids in the house, but I can dream, can't I?) Especially when it gets down to the final few minutes of a tight game, when every play counts, and one team digs down and makes something amazing happen to win it.
So last night, after putting the aforementioned small people to bed, rather than go back in the office and work like usual, I flipped the TV on, and lo and behold, it was the second half of the Cavaliers vs. Magic, NBA Conference Finals. The Magic were up three games to one, so the Cavs were fighting to keep their season alive. While I play regular hoops on the weekends, I've never watched much of it on TV. But I figure hey, this game oughta be good!
And for most of the half, it was exciting -- the lead changed hands a bunch of times, and it was tied up going into the fourth. This guy in particular seemed to having a great time on the court, with a big smile, and even bigger shoulders:
Seriously, what is up with his shoulders? Are there steroids that affect only your shoulder muscles? And how does that help you in basketball? Well, I was about to find out...
As the fourth quarter started, the announcers kept saying that if the Cavaliers were going to win it, Lebron James would have to take over the game. James hadn't done much up to that point, but hey, he's the NBA MVP -- this should be good! We gonna see some insane Michael Jordan-type aerial acrobatics? Or impossible Kobe Bryant falling-backwards-with-someone's-hand-blocking-his-eyes three pointers?
Not quite. James did indeed take over the game, basically by holding onto the ball for 20 of the 24 allowed seconds, then dropping one of HIS huge shoulders and steamrolling through whoever was between him and the basket... FOR WHICH THE DEFENDERS WERE CALLED FOR FOULS.
What the hell? You're standing there, somebody plows into you, and it's YOUR fault? Apparently it's also illegal to even THINK about blocking anyone's layup, as every exciting breakaway was negated by a whistle, no matter how incidental the contact appeared on the replay. Just as the pace of the game would quicken, everything would stop so someone could stand there...and shoot...free throws.
As the final seconds approached, the Magic were down by just a few points. Did they fight hard to get the ball back and make up those points? No, they began fouling the Cavaliers ON PURPOSE, in order to stop the clock and dare the Cavaliers to...MAKE TWO FREE THROWS. Apparently, fouling on purpose at the end of the game is a winning strategy in professional basketball. These are the best basketball players on the planet, and they have to foul each other on purpose to win? How is this professional? Let me try that on the guys this weekend, and see how it goes...
So instead of a thrilling, athletically inspiring, all-out struggle for victory in the final seconds, I got to watch twenty minutes of guys standing by themselves, spinning the ball around and pondering it deeply. Either that, or they were trying to imagine where else on their bodies they could still fit tattoos.
And after each shot, they got hi-fives from their teammates WHETHER THEY MADE THE SHOT OR NOT.
I was pondering deeply why the two teams don't just show up, hold a free-throw contest, give each other hi-fives and call it a day.
So just for S&G this morning, I looked up free throw shooting percentages for last week's games to test the theory:
Last night: Cavs 79%, Magic 68%, game winner: Cavs
Wednesday: Lakers 76%, Nuggets 74%, game winner: Lakers
Tuesday: Cavs 83%, Magic 70%, game winner: Magic (by 2 points)
Monday: Nuggets 75%, Lakers 68%, game winner: Nuggets
Sunday: Magic 76%, Cavs 74%, game winner: Magic
Saturday: Nuggets 89%, Lakers 70%, game winner: Lakers
Friday: Cavs 80%, Magic 68%, game winner: Cavs
Thursday: Nuggets 78%, Lakers 77%, game winner: Nuggets
Six out of seven NBA Conference Final games won by the team that shot better at the line. The seventh lost by a single basket.
And if we keep going...
Wednesday 5/20: Magic 85%, Cavs 70%, game winner: Magic
Tuesday 5/19: Lakers 83%, Nuggets 65%, game winner: Lakers
Sunday 5/17: Lakers 78%, Rockets 64%, game winner: Lakers
and Magic: 80%, Celtics 80%, game winner: Magic
...and so on.
Tonight, 6pm: Lakers vs. Nuggets. To be decided by ten guys taking their time to carefully and methodically put a ball in a hole 12 feet away.
Me? I'll be getting some work done.
.
Labels: boring, cavaliers, golf, lakers, magic, National Free Throw Association, nuggets, ridiculousness
posted by TheAverageMan @ 8:41 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Generally speaking, though, I still think basketball is more exciting to watch than football. I mean, what other sport can you have scores like 110-100? Plus, I think the football equivalent of endless free throws is a game full of nothing but field goals.
I like your blog.
:)
You are not alone, AM. Bill Simmons at ESPN.com has a long (very long, 15 minutes to read long) column on the same topic. Here's an exerpt:
Jordan was both the best and worst thing ever to happen to the league. You know the good things he did, but he also paved the way for a generation of one-on-one players who careen toward the basket in big moments, create some form of contact and hope officials will bail them out. With four seconds to play in Game 4 and his team trailing by 2, LeBron put his head down, dribbled as fast as he could and prayed Michael Pietrus would either bump him or trip him. If you watch the clip, he's moving so fast that it would have been humanly impossible for him to make a shot. That wasn't his goal. He wanted a call. And he got one. Their feet got tangled, LeBron lurched forward, and the refs bailed him out.
Dwyane Wade won an NBA Finals for Miami that way. Three years later, LeBron nearly saved Cleveland's season that same way. It's a reprehensibly effective strategy that has nothing in common with anything we would ever see on a playground, an intramural game or a one-on-one battle in someone's backyard. I have been writing this column for 12 years dating back to my old Web site. Never have I received as many "I hate the referees" and "I hate watching these guys drive to the basket and get bailed out" and "Why can't they just let these guys play basketball and act like human beings?" e-mails as I did this spring.
I'm with you, Average Man.
Let me deflect the scant criticism of your view by saying that I don't think anything about plopping myself in front of the tube for a nice baseball game.
What I enjoy (and sometimes hate) about baseball is that there is no clock ... you can't sit on a lead. And while it's played at a slower pace than most other games, the action is sublime.
I agree with those who say that some games take too long, but if a game is well-played, I don't mind if it takes two or four hours (although my preference is two, especially if I'm umpiring).
I guess it's an acquired taste, but I've acquired it.
My rankings:
1. Baseball
2. Football
3. Football (American)
4. Hockey
5. Basketball
I apparently enjoy hunting for small nuggets of beauty in my sporting events.
It's all about the money so I don't watch any of it anymore. I can't stand watching billionaire golfers on television. Professional sports uber-sux, I'd rather watch a high school game.
Thank you Thank you Thank you for posting thus on Basketball. In high school I got progressively worse at it. Because of my combatant temperament more than anything else. To me, it was a game without any rules. As you say,
What the hell? You're standing there, somebody plows into you, and it's YOUR fault? Apparently it's also illegal to even THINK about blocking anyone's layup, as every exciting breakaway was negated by a whistle, no matter how incidental the contact appeared on the replay. Just as the pace of the game would quicken, everything would stop so someone could stand there...and shoot...free throws.
That's crap.
And do the still have that rule about no zone defense?
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